Parenting Corner: The Power of Following Through
Lacy Haefli, a mother of two, shares a simple but powerful piece of advice: “Follow through. Don’t tell your child you're going to do something and then don’t do it, especially when it comes to discipline. They will learn early on that you don’t always follow through, which will cause bigger problems later.”
Lacy’s insight is more than just practical wisdom—it’s a principle deeply supported by child psychology research. Here is what we found:
Why Following Through Matters:
1. Creates Emotional Security and Trust
Children thrive when their world is predictable. When parents consistently follow through, children know what to expect, which builds a sense of safety and trust in their caregivers.
2. Teaches Self-Control and Responsibility
Consistent discipline helps children internalize rules and develop self-discipline. They learn that actions have consequences, which is essential for making good choices as they grow.
3. Reduces Confusion and Misbehavior
Inconsistent discipline—such as ignoring a behavior one day and punishing it the next—confuses children. This confusion can lead to more frequent testing of boundaries and behavioral problems.
4. Builds Respect and Strong Relationships
Children are more likely to respect parents who are fair and consistent. This respect forms the foundation for healthy parent-child relationships and helps children respect other authority figures
What Happens When Parents Don’t Follow Through?
Consequence | Impact on Children |
Insecurity & Anxiety | Children feel less safe and more anxious due to unpredictable family dynamics |
Boundary Testing | Increased likelihood of testing limits and developing conduct problems |
Trust Issues | Difficulty forming secure attachments and trusting relationships |
Poor Self-Esteem | Greater risk of uncertain self-esteem and depression |
Long-Term Problems | Persistent behavioral and emotional issues into adolescence and adulthood |
Research shows that children exposed to inconsistent discipline are more than twice as likely to develop behavioral disorders compared to those who experience consistent discipline.
Practical Tips: How to Follow Through Effectively
· Think Before You Speak: Only promise consequences or rewards you’re prepared to enforce.
· Start Small: Focus on a few key rules and be consistent with them.
· Use Logical Consequences: Make sure consequences are directly related to the behavior.
· Plan Ahead: Discuss discipline strategies with your partner or co-parent.
· Follow Through on Positive Promises: Keeping your word about rewards builds trust, too.
· Acknowledge Mistakes: If you can’t follow through, explain why and use it as a teaching moment.
Consistency Is a Gift
Lacy Haefli’s tip is a reminder that children don’t need perfect parents—they need consistent ones. By following through on both consequences and promises, parents provide the security and structure children need to thrive. In a world full of uncertainty, being a parent your child can count on is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
Learn more from the “Brick Talk” seminar hosted by Debracca Williams-Hangen in Family Support at Valeska Hinton ECEC.
Do you have a parenting tip to share? Contact us at remarkabletimes@psd150.org.